Sep 17, 2010

My Little Trooper

I took Olivia to her Doctor appointment yesterday.  It wasn't the family Doctor, it was the doctor from another hospital, the one for genetics, though she's not a genetic doctor...I'm not exactly sure what she is...a pediatric Doctor possibly...I'd like to tell you I'm more on top of all this medical stuff...but I'm not.  A couple of years ago when all this started I figured I could keep track of everything, but after about the umpteenth doctors appointment, two hospitals later and a dozen or so 'professionals', I have completely lost track! 

It was a follow up appointment, follow up from oh...from more then a year ago and I almost wasn't able to get in to see them.  You see this doctor is in another city and comes here once a month (after taking the summer off) for a clinic.  They had told me that we would be seen the first week of September, when the clinic came...then I found out through Olivia's OT (Occupational Therapist) that the clinic was this week and low and behold we were not informed.  I got a hold of them and they were telling me how, "Oh we have a clinic in November."  And I say, "Oh really?  I was told in June that we would be seen early September....is there not one in September?"  To which the ever so 'professional' lady on the phone replies, "Um...yes, we do.  On the 16th....I'll see if I can fit you in."  And fit us in she did!

I used to have more patience for these kinds of things.  I have respect for any individual but I try especially hard to be respectful and understanding to the many professionals I have come across in Olivia's short life.  But I'm running on empty...this hospital for the clinic, is also the hospital that can't seem to get the genetic info sent properly and we are still waiting for results that we were to receive back in February.  Now after the test being sent for the third time I wait again for answers because our genetic counsellor is away and will not be able to return my call until Wednesday....and yes she should have called us two weeks ago....

We deal with another hospital in another city...and yes...they too have forgotten us as well.....!  Olivia should have been seen by them before she turned three....that was in July....the OT called them for us...(I love her, she knows who to call and she always gets the job done!  If I paid her I would SO be giving her a raise!)  But of course the second hospital has no record of having to schedule a follow up appointment....

Anyways enough about that...I just wanted to get some of that off my chest. 

It's hard, it's really hard to take your little one to these kinds of things.  Bouncing from Doctor to Doctor, hospital to clinic, from professional to professional...today was just nuts, really - not busy nuts just tiring nuts.  We rushed to the appointment because the OT was late to our appointment prior to the clinic appointment and so our appointment with the OT ran late...following me so far?  So we get to the clinic in time(walking no less) to only have to wait around for 40 minuets...thank goodness I had my sister in law to watch the baby or there just may have been tears today...and I'm not talking about the kids!

40 minuets later we get into see the doctor AND a social worker...this is a first, well I guess we haven't had a new professional in a while so why not throw a social worker into the mix!?  Anyways I will make an already long story shorter.  The appointment went much like this;  Doctor interrogating me about Olivia, she breaks and writes stuff down, the social worker begins interrogations, she breaks and writes stuff down, Doctor has more questions then writes stuff down, social worker has more questions and writes stuff down, then they want Olivia to 'perform' for them, then more questions, more writing stuff down, more preforming, more questions, then I have to sign stuff, more writing, questions, signing....then the Doctor wants to physically check Olivia.  This is where my heart breaks.  Olivia hasn't seen as many doctors as some other children but she has seen enough in her days and as soon as they go to put her on the bed she looses it!

And I mean looses it!   My poor baby girl, she was in hysterics, reaching around the worker for me, hands out stretched and crying for all she was worth.  I go to her!  Forget the doctors, the workers, forget the world.  I scoop her up, she clings to me, finally finding comfort in the security of my embrace.  My poor child, she is a trooper but this was too much and thankfully the doctor recognized this and let well enough alone.

I'm not ignorant to the need for these appointments, it is just that I can't help but feel for this little one, for all she has gone through and for all that may come her way.  I continuously pray for her and pray for myself that I will be strong for her.  God is good, He knows my little Olivia better then I and He loves her more then I ever could!

These moments are heart wrenching and stay with me for some time...forever.  I look at her some days and think "Why can't she be like other kids?  Why does she have to have these challenges?"  I don't know the answers and really I don't need answers either, what I need is to rest in my God.  He has placed Olivia, with her special needs, in our life and we are to love her and that is all there is to know!

I am thankful to the Lord for my girls and really it is sooo easy to love them!  The people I have met because of Olivia's issues have been some pretty neat and amazing people.  God has opened up a whole new world for us, a world that only so many people experience and can relate to.  I have used these struggles as witnessing opportunity, thanking God in the good times and trusting Him in the rougher ones.

The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; He know those who take refuge in Him.  Nahum 1:7

So though it that was a tough appointment, my little trooper says as we are leaving, "Thank you for coming!"  What a doll, God bless her and oh how He has!

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