Jun 2, 2011

God's Calling

So I showed you through my home and again thank you for your compliments!  I do so love our home - it is sweet, simple, cozy, inviting and well... home!

But obviously we have it listed to sell...and many people have questioned us as to why.  All we can tell them is that it's where we feel God's leading.





This has been a big struggle, to say the least!  It has been going on since last year but with our house under construction we were never able to act much on these feelings.  For a time I have felt that moving to the country was the next step. 

I actually long to move out of the city.  I ache to see open fields, gaze upon vast expansions of sky, to watch lazy clouds meander across a sea of blue and to listen to the wind dance through the trees.




I dream of crisp Autumn days, leaves crunching under feet as we putter around the yard, of cool nights sitting on a porch, of bonfires full of music and friends, cozy fireplaces crackling away the nights, of five foot snow drifts and a long gravel driveway. 

I pray that this is what is next for us....oh how I pray....





But I am afraid that it just might not be.


We feel that God actually might be calling us to almost the exact opposite.  That He is calling us to sell and move to another city...a days drive away.  And I try to ignore this, oh how I try!  I put on my best Jonah face and continue on my own path.

The spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak.

And oh what a weak flesh my spirit seems to inhabit!

I must say though, that we have come along way over the last year and truly, I will follow my God, no matter where He leads.....really, I will...!  But seriously - how do you fight that battle between spirit and flesh?  What my flesh wants is not wrong, it is not unbiblical, it does not build us up in anyway, it is just a move to the country for many a wholesome and God honouring reasons!

But it doesn't feel like it is what God wants for us.

And in that, my flesh's desire is wrong.

But it's hard, for apart from that gnawing feeling in the pit of me, everything else says stay.  Everything else says, you're crazy.  Our family, our friends, our church, our connections, our work, our home, they are all here, all of it!

But God's calling.....the question lies....where is that? 




There are countless scripture to support what God is telling us, countless....!  I just can't come to terms with it.  So much is happening around me, so many beautiful blessings that I want to be apart of....and yet my Lord calls.

I guess I just needed to put this out there, to write it out and let you hear my thoughts.  I've struggled with this for such a time now.  My husband and I have not wanted to say much as too often we say we are going to do something and for whatever reason it never comes to fruition.  But I can't seem to shake this, the calling of moving and moving away.

I've tried to post about this before but I ended up deleting the other three drafts.....I think in hopes of keeping us on the path that I want..... and because I was scared.....scared of where our faith may be taking us and scared of what might happen if we do not listen. 

I also wanted to share this with you to get you to keep me accountable - to keep me on that path to Nineveh because I really do not want to be tossed out of the boat.  I hope and pray that I will listen to God's calling, to leave all for the sake of my Saviour and to value nothing else above Him.



“Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come, eternal life." Mark 10:29,30




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2 comments:

  1. we are right there in the boat with you. it's good to write it out. i'll hopefully be able to share soon too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, been there and done that, many times, your husband in tow. God is ever faithful, ever true. Beppe would say, God will not lead you where His grace cannot keep you. God is faithful..all the time!

    ReplyDelete

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