Dec 30, 2012

2012, the year Surreal

Wow....it's just about over....my year Surreal!  I have known I wanted to write a post - I mean how could I let a year such as this one slip by without one last post, a last farewell to the most surreal year of my life?

But what to say....?

How to put into words all that this year held?

Such amazing, surreal highs! 

Blessings,
growth,
renewal,
leaps of faith,
growing intimacy with God,
precious baby boy,
deeper friendships,
family bonding and strengthening,
new "beyond words" home of more then we could imagine,
pigs,
and
lots of time.


And then some pretty surreal lows!

The loss of my dad,
the loss of my best friend's mom,
leaving our 'sweat and blood' home,
ambulance coming for our one month old,
loss after loss for members of our church family,
new 'diets' and thus relearning the simple acts of cooking and eating,
and
never enough time.

So I see, as I write this, that this post is not going where I thought it would.  As I listed out these highs and low I see that yes, the thing I will carry away with from this year Surreal is time.

I had thought I would recap the year - but I think I've exhausted that already.  I thought I'd touch on where I am at this point, physically, emotionally and spiritually - but since I'm turning 30 *gasp* in just over a month, I'm sure I will reflect then on those issues.  ;)   And I could delve into all that grief has taught me this past year...but this year wasn't summed up by grief.

No, this year Surreal, is summed up by time.

I've seen many sides to time this past year.

Nine months spent growing a baby.
From exciting news to devastating news in mere hours.
A one hour drive that changed my life forever.
Moments....mere moments....the longest and shortest I have ever know...
Selling, buying, packing and moving in just under a month.
Days and nights with a newborn that stretched on...and on...and on....
To turn around and he was already, 6 weeks, three months, five months and now half a year old.
Six glorious months of parental leave with my husband! ♥
Two days before he is returns back to work.  :(
From piglets to market ready in five months.
The beginning of my fourth year of blogging.
Three decades to celebrate in just over a month....

I have experienced so much time this year!  The incredible drawn out, lasting forever, never endingness of time and also the gone in a blink, over before you know, can't believe how fast it goes side of time.

Making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.  Ephesians 5:16-17


I now know that truly each moment is precious - that you wake up one day and when you go to bed that night your life can be completely different.  That amazing blessings and terrible tragedies happen, everyday.....to everyday people.

I am starting to finally grasp that time is fleeting.  That days, hours, minutes...and seconds matter - they count more then we realize! 

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, ... Colossians 3:23

This does not mean that each day, each moment needs to be "full".  That my life is one record of how I have soaked up, squeezed out and basked in the fullness of time.  That I need to 'make the most' of every opportunity and 'grab life by the horns' or whatever saying have you.

What time is...is a gift.

 
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: Ecclesiastes 3:1


You see I now know...there is never enough time. 

Never enough time to say I love you!
Never enough time to smell fresh baby skin.
Never enough time to clean the house.
Never enough time to sleep.
Never enough time to love.
Never enough time to play games.
Never enough time to sit and read.
Never enough time to say good bye.
Never enough time to hold someone close.
Never enough time to right wrongs.
Never enough time to laugh.
Never enough time to sing.
Never enough time to get your point across.
Never enough time to watch the sun set.
Never enough time to take a long soak.
Never enough time.....

But what I am saying is not that we do not have enough time to do these things, in that we are too busy and life is too full....I am saying that there is never enough time - never too much time!  There is never too much time to relish in the things you enjoy - the things the Lord has blessed you with.

Time marches on, as they say - it goes by, the hours, days, weeks, months and years.  We move in and out of each moment, mostly giving little thought to it. 

"Just a sec!"
"Hold on a moment."
"Wait a minute."
"Be right back."

But it's gone...time is gone, it does not return.  This year brought with it many life changing moments - moments...that's what they are in the grand scheme of things - mere moments....


So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12


My prayer for myself and for all of you is that you stop and look back at this past year - look at all the moments that summed it up. See each moment as a gift.  You've read many times how I have summed up this year as surreal and I think I haven't even taken the time to stop and let it all sink in!

...taken the time....

....I can't take it....it's a gift!

So I wait on the Lord, wait for Him to grant me time - the time I need.

The time to hold my children while the are young.
The time to love my husband.
The time to learn patience.
The time to read His word.
The time to say I love you!
The time to clean the house.
The time to pursue my creative endeavours.
The time to learn to manage money better...or at all! ;)
The time to sleep.
The time to cherish.
The time with family and friends.
The time for each moment....


So, 2012, my year Surreal - how surreal that with the whirl wind of it all, with your roller coaster of emotional extremes that you are over!?!  How, dear Surreal - did it happen?  How has so many moments marched on by...how have I not been able to pause, for just a moment and let it all soak in?  How has 366 days come and gone and how is another year staring at me, waiting and ready to race along just as you have done?

I guess, dear friends...the point of all this is; each day, moment, is a gift!  Please don't read that and nod along, taking in the usual, "Yes, each moment is a gift, got it, make the most of it, got it, yadda, yadda!" No, dear friends, be thankful for every moment - the good and the bad.  Because the good can be sooo good and He is there, right there with you!  Our God is there rejoicing with you, smiling as you smile, relishing in your joy - He is there my friends.

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12

And the bad...oh it can be bad!  But He is there my friend , right there with you!  Our God is there weeping while you weep, sober hearted as your heart breaks, laying His comfort on you when you need it most - He is there my friends.

Time does not escape, restrain, or hold our God.

He will be there, every moment, whether you 'make the most' of it - or sit and stare out a window.  God has given each day to us.  He has numbered them, He knows all about them, He cares for us and He love us so dearly!



For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,
plans for welfare and not for evil,
to give you a future and a hope.
 
Jeremiah 29:11








I dedicate this post to my BFF
♥ Thank you for walking through this year Surreal with me.



 
“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…
It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.”
 C. S. Lewis
 
 
 
 
 
.

3 comments:

  1. Amen! and so true. Thank you for taking the time to write these words...

    It's good to sit and dwell on them, for sure!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aww, you and Stacey are so cute. And I thank God for you often, Kait. You and your heart for Him. I pray continued growth and new strength for you in 2013. God bless you

    ReplyDelete
  3. Beautifully put Kaitlin. It's amazing to see God in, on and around everything and the blessings that He pours on the ever so cherished times that we do have. I am so thankful that God loves me enough not only to give me Jesus.... But on top of that...He gave me and my family...You and yours! I love you, like a lot! And thank you for being more than just a friend but " you're my BFF " and my sister in Christ.

    ReplyDelete

Leave me a comment! I love hearing from you! ♥

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails