Dec 8, 2012

A little different...


Another 'mile stone' as they say - today was my Dad's Birthday - he would have been 63.  So strange to not have him here....so strange to not be celebrating with him....so..strange....

I miss him.

Simple...but the truth...

There really isn't any other way to say it....he is missed...a lot!

I think it's one of the reasons this Christmas season is feeling a bit....different?!

I'm usually such a Christmassy person - like already shopping by August and decorated and tree up by the first of December - Christmassy person....

...but not this year....no this year just feels..different...I don't know what else to say....

It could be that it has been unusually warm here.  There is no snow and it has been rather hot out for November and December...in fact, here's a picture of my girls outside, taken just a few days ago...





No coats, no hats, no mitts - it was like 20 degrees out there...Celsius....I think that's like 68 Fahrenheit....which is INSANE for where we live!! Usually there's snow and lots of it...and if no snow then it's bitter...BITTER cold....

...but like I said...this year is just different!



So with having some lack luster feelings about this Christmas season I was at a loss.  It was halfway through November and I hadn't hardly shopped.  I had no desire to decorate and little energy to even consider baking...






When I mentioned this to my best friend, she was quick to retort - "But Kaitlin, It's JESUS' BIRTHDAY!!!"

Riiight....hmmm...after letting that sink in for a few days I began to think.  She was right - this season isn't about me!  It's not about the lights, the gifts, the snow, or my "Christmas spirit"...or lack there of.  This season is all about Him!  About our wonderful Saviour - it's His Birthday we are to focus on, to remember, to take the time to pause and reflect on.  She was right and I needed to change my heart.



 
 
 
But that is often easier said then done, now isn't it?!

So a few more days wondered by and the weather remained warm and my mood remained humbug and well I once again was at a loss...

...then in the quite of one early morning devotion...I prayed.  I asked God to turn my heart to the true meaning of this wonderful time of year.  To put aside how I felt, so that I could to honour, celebrate and enjoy Jesus.  I opened my bible and my eyes fell upon the book of Luke.

:)




After reading through those special passages all about the birth of our Lord - I felt as if God had laid a gentle yet strong hand on my shoulder.  He was there and He wanted to help me along.  The day progressed as usual.  A little later, the kids off and playing and the baby napping, I went to my computer.  Opening the Internet to our homepage I was greeted with this verse of the day;

Oh come, let us sing to the Lord;
let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation!
Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving;
let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise!

Psalm 95:1-2

I smiled - God does know just how much I enjoy music!  And I pondered, thinking on those words and letting them sink in.  Maybe I just needed to 'jump start' my Christmas 'spirit' - I had prayed, I had read but that doesn't automatically make my heart aline with His.  I thought about our stack of Christmas music...tucked away...somewhere.....not revealed yet since moving in....and my dear hubby was out, so I couldn't ask him where our boxes of Christmas things were.

*sigh* Oh well....so much for a 'jump start'.





And then, for no real reason....I clicked on a link in my favourites bar.  A link I hadn't clicked on since moving way out here to the ol' country side - I haven't clicked on it because we no longer get the station this link pertained to.  It was the link for the local Christian station, the one we enjoyed greatly while living in the city.  I don't know exactly why - I had some reasons...but nothing really to cause me to go there...that day...except....

...when I arrived on the homepage for UCB Canada - I was blessed with a gift.  A Christmas music station; gift! 

:)

He's just like that isn't He?


So I played it....loud!  Eventually I venture up to our third flood and dug through some boxes and totes and discovered our wreath....our extremely festive, bright and almost borderline tacky - but I love it oh, so much, wreath!  And even though it was sunny, warm and blue sky out side - I hung it on the door.  I hung it there, stood back and smiled...all the while Christmas songs played on.

And well, since then, we have decorated the rest of the house.  We uncovered the Christmas music, as well as the lights, garland, Nativity scene and other holiday decorations.  But in all honesty...this year is still just different.  Be it the weather, the loss of my dad, the new house, the fact that my hubby is off until the new year or I'm just getting older...I'm just not 'feeling' it.





 
 
But what I have to say is I am feeling; blessed - beyond measure!  I'm feeling closer to God, feeling gratitude for amazing friends, feeling love from dear family, feeling joy in a deeper relationship with our Lord, feeling sorrow in missing my dad but feeling joy for the memories, for how loving he was and for how blessed I was to have had him!

So my earthly father's Birthday is drawing to a close....it was different...I commemorated it in my own way - there was no cake, no gifts...no him....but there were memories, smiles, tears, connecting with family from across the country and there was of course, music!

:)


And so I do look forward to this Christmas season...different as it may be.  I look forward to watching my kids enjoy it, to seeing them gain a better understanding of Jesus and what God did for us through Him.  I look forward to pausing and focusing on our Saviour, to knowing Him more and reflecting on all that this season commemorates.  There will be goodies, there will be gifts and there will be Him.  There will also be new memories made, smiles and even laughter, there will still be tears, we will connect with family near and far, and yes, of course, there will be music....



Marys Boy Child by Boney M on Grooveshark




Oh come, let us sing to the Lord;
let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation!
Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving;
let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise!

Psalm 95:1-2




.

1 comment:

  1. It is quiet here. I no longer get into the wild craft attacks, and teenage boys only get into decorations so much. Top that off with flu in the house, but I'm sure the Christmas feeling will be there come Christmas week. Love your posts.

    ReplyDelete

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