Feb 13, 2014

Soaked in Love


Well it's true - you are all sweet to me, my friends! 

It's Valentine's day again, not a big 'holiday' around here - I did just have my birthday and hubby and I are not much for it all together! We're those sickly sweet people that "keep Valentine's Day all year long!" lol!! It's true though!  And so with not having to focus on us for this particular day of love we get to focus more on others!

Including these two little sweeties....

It was the girls first Valentine's day at school - well...actually they had their day on Thursday as Friday is a PA day and so they are not in school.  And since they only attend three days a week, this past Wednesday my little ladies and I were hard at work making cookies for their class mates!


I made the sugar cookie dough the night before...because this momma only has so much patience and making dough AND all the other bits to doing cookies was just going to be too much!  And anyways, the rolling and decorating parts are more fun!
So we got to work on somewhere around five dozen cookies...I lost count after the fourth tray or so...my gals did great and were pretty good helpers!  Especially when it came to mixing the icing!



It was a mixed day of love for me....the day we made the cookies also marked two years since my dad passed away.

I couldn't have been more thankful for the sunshine that day!  Last year was cold and miserable out...one of those days where it's not fully winter and only the touches of melted and messiness of Spring coming...it was all around terrible!


But this year was a bit different....It was such a jumble of family fun and missing my dad!  I think it had something to do with the time passing...it being two full years now and the healing that takes place in that time.  I found that I wanted to actually remember more this year...to look at the photos...and think about him.

If you've never lost someone close to you then this might not make sense...but it takes time....time to move though and sort out all the feelings associated with loss!  The first year was filled with so many monumental hurts....so many times when you encounter those 'first times' with out....so many moments when it hits you hard, real hard, that someone you love is not there...and not going to be....


I found this second year to be more of one where I just focused on what was...forgetting the loss and moving through and becoming accustomed to the new normal....and as the anniversary of his passing came....a sense of acceptance settled in....

....not an "I'm okay with this" kind of acceptance but more of..."I realize that this is...what it is..."

As my day progressed I came to want to remember him more.  It hurt less to talk about him, to remember him and thoughts of celebrating him began to form in my mind....

It's as if the fog of mourning has lifted...and I begin to see his smile, instead of holding on to the pain.  I begin to hear his laugh and not long for the time I get to see him...that never comes.  I begin to want to share more with my children, instead of pretending his death never happened...

I begin to want to celebrate his life, his legacy and his love!

I took time, between cookies baking, cooling and icing making to look through photos, to throw snappy 'dad style' comebacks at my hubby and to remember him and all he gave me.  And I took the time to soak in all that the day brought...
I soaked in the time with my husband and children.  
I soaked in the sunshine. 
I soaked in the memories. 
I soaked in the sugary sweets that littered my kitchen. 
I soaked in my dad's smile. 
I soaked in 'huggies' from my baby boy. 
I soaked in the moments. 
I soaked in the love.



And at the end of it all, the best place to soak in all I need - is in His word!  In His comfort, care and provision.  To look at all the moments of my life....the good...the bad...the ugly...the sad...the joys...the lows....the blessings....the wonder....the moments that glow....

To look to my God and know that His love is always there, sweeter then any Valentine! 

But the steadfast love of the Lord is from
everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
and his righteousness to children's children,
to those who keep his covenant
and remember to do his commandments.
The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,
and his kingdom rules over all.

Bless the Lord, O you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his word,
obeying the voice of his word!
Bless the Lord, all his hosts,
his ministers, who do his will!
Bless the Lord, all his works,
in all places of his dominion.
Bless the Lord, O my soul!
Psalm 103:17-22


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